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More and more children and young people are learning outside of school. Bullying, testing, peer pressure, constant changes in curriculum, long term illness, lack of recognition and provision for special educational needs, poor choice of local school, boredom, lack of engagement and family lifestyle are all common reasons why parents decide that school is not the best educational option for their child. Every parent has the legal right to make this choice, whatever their own educational background, social or economic status.
For some families, the choice is made before the children reach ‘school age’ and is a positive lifestyle choice. However for many families, this decision is made out of desperation at a time of crisis. Problems at school can result in behavioural issues, truanting, depression, low self esteem and breakdown in family relationships. Tragically, for some children, the end result is self harming behaviour and feeling suicidal. Sometimes it seems that no matter what parents try and what support may be offered by the school, the situation just doesn’t get better and everyone is stuck in a cycle of frustration. All the time, whether at school or not, the child is not receiving an education and is in such a stressed state that learning and social development are impossible. Sometimes this situation continues for years.
An example we came across recently involved a family whose 13 year old was constantly bullied at school, his self esteem plummeting as teachers failed to recognise his dyslexia and berated him for not being able to write even though he appeared to be very intelligent. Eventually, this boy began truanting and self harming, his mum spending her days looking for him and taking him back to school only to get another call to say he had gone again. This child ended up in prison, where his special needs were finally recognised and where he finally received an education. Now 19, he has sorted his life out and has a home, a job and a relationship. Unfortunately, his family still suffer from the damage done to their relationship with him and the trauma suffered by his parents and younger siblings. The tragedy about this situation is that his mother repeatedly spoke to the school about Home Education and was wrongly told she could not do it as she was not a trained teacher. To find out later that this was an option and there was support available is obviously an outrage to this family. Clearly, a vital function of Home Education support groups is to publicise their existence and offer immediate support to families in this sort of crisis. Knowing immediately that there is a place they can go at the same time every week and meet people who have been through similar problems can help families like this get through each difficult week.
Another example is a teenager who suffers from a long term debilitating illness, who often has long spells where she is practically bedridden. At school, this meant long periods of absence and constantly trying to catch up which often led to a further relapse. It also meant being unable to keep up friendships, which led to a feeling of isolation. However, now home educated she can pace her learning and activities to suit her and can make steady progress towards her educational goals. Being able to attend a club once a week and then keep up friendships by email in between suits her far better than travelling to school five days a week and then missing out while her friends meet up after school and go out at weekends.
As long term Home Educators we hear weekly of more families with stories similar to these who are thrilled to learn that there is support out there. For all these families, learning about Home Education is often a mixed blessing. Relief that the child can be deregistered from school and can begin to relax and recover, but also worry about ‘how to do it’ and anger that they were not previously informed about this option. All families beginning to home educate can face concern and even opposition from family members, friends and neighbours and professionals they may be involved with. There is still a lot of misinformation or just lack of information about Home Education, which can be portrayed as an option only for well-off families or only for parents who are also trained teachers. Of course in reality, many of the problems which lead parents to take the decision to home educate are more likely to occur in areas where families may already be struggling financially or where facilities and opportunities are lacking. All sorts of parents home educate successfully and research has shown that good results are linked to parental involvement, resourcefulness and enthusiasm rather than economic or social status.
Whatever reasons for a child being educated at home and whatever background they come from, there is a need for these young people to have opportunities to come together to play, work and form friendships. There is also a need for parents to find support, build confidence and share information and resources together. Home Education groups can provide activities, courses and workshops suited to their members needs and interests – often when these activities are not provided in the local community. A good example of this is learning Welsh. Many home educated children would like to learn Welsh and are encouraged by all the advertising they see on TV, billboards etc but are frustrated to find that there is no provision in their communities. There is provision for adults and for toddlers but not if you are aged in between.
For a family just embarking on Home Education, finding a support group in their area can make all the difference to everyone. Often, children who had a hard time fitting in at school or who have been bullied find that they can begin to form friendships and regain their confidence at their own pace in an unpressured environment. This can lead to the confidence to take part in other clubs and groups in their communities and eventually, to go on to Further Education or training. (It is a huge pleasure to see a young person who came out of school an emotional wreck, unable to speak to anyone and too scared to have a go at anything, gradually blossom and eventually go on to achieve what they set out to educationally and personally. We have been lucky enough to witness this transformation several times.) Parents find that they can talk through their worries and concerns with people who have been there and found solutions – as well as sharing their positive experiences with people who understand the joy of making a breakthrough where there seemed to be insurmountable problems. Sometimes grandparents or other family members come along and are reassured that Home Education does work and their young relatives will make friends and have a ‘normal’ childhood. We are also able to share books about Home Education, parenting, special educational needs etc as well as research and news from the wider Home Education community.
Where a group is able to access funding and support and become a long term venture, all members of the family can have a sense of belonging and inclusion and long term friendships are formed. In order to make these groups open to everyone and to best foster this sense of inclusion it is ideal if funding allows for activities, trips and meetings to be free of charge to all members.